


into temptation (Ruby & Castiel)

by littlehollyleaf



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fanmix, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-08-10
Updated: 2009-08-10
Packaged: 2018-09-15 15:58:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9243008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlehollyleaf/pseuds/littlehollyleaf
Summary: Fanmix with a collection of short fics for each track





	

**Author's Note:**

> So, thanks to competitions running over at [](http://spnland.livejournal.com/profile)[**spnland**](http://spnland.livejournal.com/), here is my first (and probably only) fanmix. Damn, music is SO NOT my forte. Hence why I tried to twist this mix round to my actual creative strength and wrote some drabble-like things for each track.
> 
> Fyi, this is 'Ruby **&** Castiel' not 'Ruby/Castiel.' I'm looking at the contrasts and comparisons to their characters (and relationships with their respective Winchesters :D) _seperately_ over the course of the show. And, in a broader, more epic sense, the opposing states of Heaven and Hell they represent I suppose. I really love the tension between opposition and similarity SPN is always playing with (see: Sam wants a normal life, Dean wants to hunt BUT Sam is more like their father, Dean dreams of a steady girlfriend and a son - Sam is religious, Dean is a non-believer BUT Sam is infected with demon blood, Dean gets raised from Hell by an angel etc etc.)
> 
> This isn't brilliant by a long shot, but I had a lot more fun making it than I expected :)

**into temptation**  
Ruby  & Castiel

 

 **01\. Sin - Nine Inch Nails**  
**[a duet: Ruby & Castiel]**

 _"Your kiss_ / _Your fist_ / _And your strain_ / _It gets under my skin._  
_Within_ / _Take in the extent of my sin."_

She manages one gasp that pierces the silence of the chamber as sure as the knife in her almost beating heart - the cold, heavy grip on her shoulders from hands she thought she knew completely by now flooding her with the kind of horror she'd forgotten how to feel long ago.

He can't hear her over the furious, righteous, beating of wings that blot out everything and keep him from making any sound at all - the tingle of heat across his palm seeming to press under his skin, right into his blood, giving him courage he'd never even dared to imagine.

It's what they deserve. This path might have been laid out for them from the start but they didn't have to follow it, no, that was their sin. They _chose_.

And as her stolen blood starts to cool and his borrowed form fills with warmth -

She wishes bitterly that she hadn't.  
And he has no regrets.

 **02\. A View to a kill - Duran Duran**  
**[solo: Ruby]**

 _"Nightfall covers me_ / _But you know, the plans I'm making_ / _Still oversee._  
_Could it be, the whole earth opening wide_ / _A sacred why_ / _A mystery gaping inside."_

The first breath of air down the blonde's open throat sends her into sensory overload. It's been so long since she's known anything but suffocating heat and darkness, the taste of cool oxygen under bright sunshine almost has her passing out.

She doesn't though, because if she screws this up now the plan is over before it's begun. And Ruby doesn't even want to imagine what Lilith might do to her if she fucks up millennia of preparation and lets their golden boy get gutted by the Seven Deadly Sins - of all the pathetic, wanna-be-rockstar demons to have passed the gate - before he can fulfil his destiny.

It's ridiculously easy to play the kid. A last minute save and a promise of the same for his brother and Sam Winchester is putty in her hands. It's sweet, actually, how desperate he is to believe her. All puppy-dog looks and whimpers. The new, warm, wet parts of Ruby's host start to swell at the sight and she finds herself impatient for Dean's demise. Eager to take the weak and broken man the kill will leave behind and train him up into the wild and fearsome creature lurking inside those canine eyes.

She can see it now. Scene: poor lonely Sammy shedding frozen tears. Enter: Warm, curvaceous Ruby to kiss them away. One kiss. It's all they'll need. One kiss to make him a killer. Or... maybe a _little_ more. The boy _does_ fill out very nicely and Ruby figures there's no harm in enjoying her work.

 **03\. On her majesty's secret service - The John Barry Orchestra**  
**[solo: Castiel]**

_Instrumental_

Castiel watches the man he has been sent to, the man heaven has seen fit to bless with freedom from perdition and made it his mission to lead and train and serve, cower from his voice. He watches dark, ruby-red stains crawl from the ears he so recently perfected and they remind him of the burning hot flames he found among the damned. He feels his grace quiver at the sight and doesn't understand why.

He bends time a little to prepare a vessel, for it is soon apparent this is what his charge requires, and the first thought that forms as he inhabits it - fashioned in unfamiliar, restricting language - is, _'there must be some mistake.'_ That anything from heaven should be false or misunderstood translates as a sharp, churning sensation deep inside him that a scan of his vessel's memories identifies as 'nausea.' Still, Castiel serves god and doesn't question. He finds the man again and suffers his assaults. Delivers his message.

And that's when he sees it - the true shape of the man's soul, unsullied by fire and brimstone. There is passion and purity in it, love and hope, and it is beautiful. It flares out in response to Castiel's words, pitiful though they seem to him, warming his grace in a way his vessel finds 'pleasant.' But before he can know it fully, it's gone again as though it never was. And instead of accepting his role, accepting _himself_ , the man asks 'why?'

Castiel knows then why it took so long to see the worth in this man. He hides it. No, more than that - he runs from it. He has power and glory and salvation at his fingertips and he thrusts these away, fleeing his life in an antique car with a tainted brother and devilish music and all the trappings of sin Castiel knows. From this, Dean Winchester takes a selfish joy, and yet, through it all, is still righteous enough to touch an angel's grace.

Castiel knows something then, a pull within him that seems almost angelic in the way it defies description. He will later learn an inadequate, human word for it. 'Allure.'

 **04\. Hell raiser - The Sweet**  
**[introspective: Sam]**

 _"Every time I touch her hand_ / _It's like I'm burning in the fires of hell._  
_And if I hold her too long_ / _You never can tell what'll happen to me."_

Every time Sam meets her there's a voice in his head - more often than not it sounds like Dean - saying 'she's a _fucking demon_ , Sam, don't forget!' And he doesn't. Not for one second. Because it's supposed to remind him she's the enemy, she can't be trusted, she's dangerous.

Only the day she suggests sharing blood he doesn't stop to think, the answer's 'yes.' It's only after the first hour long round of sex and blood-play, when they're tangled together in the wet and sticky sheets, he realises he hasn't asked why. Doesn't care. She could be feeding him poison for all he knows and he _doesn't care_.

'She's a _fucking_ demon' the voice starts up again and Sam's terrified to realise it isn't warning him off her at all. It's making him want her more.

 **05\. Holier than thou - Metallica**  
**[introspective: Dean]**

 _"Point the finger_ / _Slow to understand._  
_Arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand."_

Son of bitch. Who does he think he is? Spouting out crap like 'have faith' and 'you have to stop it.' If he thinks this hunter's gonna listen just because of a few tricks and a pair of (invisible) wings then this Castiel guy's got another thing coming. Trust has to be earned, buddy, no matter who you are.

This is what Dean tells himself, late at night, when he's supposed to be sleeping and his brother's supposed to be in the bed beside him and it's a choice between thinking, freaking out or counting the cracks in the ceiling.

He'd tell it to the angel's face, of course. He would. Any time. It's not like that threat to pitch him back downstairs actually scared him or anything. No way. He just... hasn't found the right moment. Especially when the one time he tried, when he was all geared up and ready to lay into the fucker, Cas had to go and ruin it by being so goddamn apologetic - talking about fears and doubts, head bowed and looking so weary Dean almost forgot, just for a second, that the guy wasn't human.

Or maybe he just wanted to forget. He _is_ 'Cas' to Dean more often than not these days. Doesn't know when that started. And what bugs him the most is - he doesn't know if he's trying to make the angel more human, or just make him his...

 **06\. Losing my religion - REM**  
**[a duet: Ruby & Castiel]**

 _"Every whisper_ / _Of every waking hour I'm..._  
_Choosing my confessions_ / _Trying to keep an eye on you."_

The job's getting harder.

It's hard to say why. The way he looks at you sometimes, perhaps. The heavy, distracting pressure you've noticed starting to form in your gut whenever he's in immediate danger. Or maybe just the growing need to be with him that's preventing you attending to other duties like you should. Like that time you stuck around after a midnight quickie, bunked out under the motel window until breakfast, just to hear him laughing when his brother found out he'd used all the hot water in the night. Or the time you flew half way across the globe and sat, invisible, in the back of the Impala just because you heard him humming a few notes to his favourite song.

And worse -

You're telling him things you shouldn't. Lowering your already tenuous authority by explaining your position in the celestial hierarchy. Revealing his true part in the apocalypse. Things Zechariah scolded you for thoroughly because they risk making heaven's 'righteous man' unfit for duty.

You're setting up situations for no other reason than to benefit him. Leading him to that fallen angel. Forming a plan to get her grace back. Lilith laughed in your face when she heard how Alistair cut you up. Your own stupid fault, she'd said. Should have let the others take the girl and be done with it.

And sometimes, _sometimes_ , you imagine packing in the mission altogether. You wonder what would happen if you told him everything. Imagine his understanding, forgiveness even. Because, _sometimes_ , when you think about all the pain you've put him through, and all you know is still to come, you start to doubt...

But it's just a dream. You don't _really_ think that way.

You can't.

 **07\. Original sin - Meatloaf**  
**[introspective: Ruby]**

 _"It's not enough to make the nightmares go away._  
_It's not enough to make the tears run dry._  
_Not enough to live a little better every day."_

Could you call it 'sin' if it's the Devil you're betraying?

It'd certainly be a new one for her. She excelled in all the others over a century ago - one of the reasons Lilith picked her for this. But... since she got out, the other reason's being weighing on her. See, she wasn't lying when she told the brothers she remembered what it was to be human. No one's sure why, they just tell her she's an anomaly. Happens every thousand years or so - a demon keeps their old identity. Lilith called it a gift, said it would help her play her part.

And it worked at first. Downstairs, if the memories ever got too bad, reminded her too much of the joy and love and happiness she'd lost all because she wanted a little bit of magic in her life, she'd just rack up the nearest soul and slice away until the moment passed. Up here, slicing people up tends to attract attention of a kind she really can't afford, so she started calling Sam instead. A few hints of her past life, a pout and a troubled sigh and he opens right up to her. Arms stretching wide in an offer of comfort she soon twists to lust - a thigh between his legs and a scrape of teeth along his neck, losing herself in him, in the pleasure.

But it's never enough.

And Ruby's not sure what's a lie and what isn't anymore. Is she using Sam's better nature for personal gratification, or is she using the physical act as an excuse for him to hold her? Maybe even... imagine some kind of benediction from the embrace...

Is she a faithful demon pretending to betray her kind, or is it the other way round?

 **08\. Good girls go to heaven (bad girls go everywhere) - Meatloaf**  
**[introspective: Castiel]**

 _"You've been nothing but an angel every day of your life._  
_And now you wonder what it's like to be bad..."_

"Enjoy the show?"

It's only seconds since Sam's departure. The demon has her underwear back but forgoes the modesty of extra clothing. She stretches her bare arms high above her head, one hand gripping her elbow, and swings into a sitting position, feet dangling down the bedside just inches from the floor.

"Oh, come on. You think I'm as blind as Sammy?" she tuts. "I know you're there."

Castiel unveils himself in the shadowed corner he's kept vigil.

"Only Dean calls him that," he says, knowing this is an important part of Dean's connection to his brother, and that his happiness hinges on that connection. Why he feels the need to safeguard it... this Castiel doesn't know.

"Whatever." Ruby trails her arms slowly back down her body. "I'd figured you guys for a lot of things, but not peeping toms."

"You are doing something to Sam," Castiel answers, ignoring the other's salacious grin. "Once I find out what, I _will_ stop it.

Ruby presses her hands to her lap and rocks forward, arms pushing on her breasts so they bulge against the red lace across the skin. Castiel can see through the fabric that her nibbles are still hard from her recent pleasures.

"I thought that was Dean's job."

She raises an eyebrow and Castiel meets the stare with an unyielding one of his own.

"He has been lax in the matter so I -"

"So you're picking up the slack?" Ruby purrs, catching the angel off guard. "That's sweet."

"I..." Castiel hesitates, unsure of the implication. "I am merely doing my job. You should heed the warning. There will not be another."

"Sure, sure." She jumps to the floor and saunters over to him. Smooth, cat-like movements. "I gotta wonder though. You're always so uptight. How much do you think about it?" Castiel follows her with his eyes as she crowds into his corner. " _Doing_ your job?"

He frowns.

"He's not _my_ type or anything," she continues, one hand on each of the walls behind him, body swaying slightly as she speaks. Like a snake. "I prefer larger guys. Plenty of flesh to run my fingernails down. Long hair I can twist. You know?" She presses up on her toes - moist, luscious lips at his ear. And for some reason Castiel can't move. He could leave at any moment but feels pinned beneath her squirming body. His own skin feels tighter, muscles tensing, and he realises he _wants_ to hear what she has to say. "But I can see the appeal. He is _very_ pretty. Strong shoulders. Slim, soft hips. _God_ , I bet it feels _so good_ running your fingers down those. Feeling those hot, sucking lips on your skin. On your neck. Tracing down your waist... Can you imagine?"

...Castiel does. He remembers Anna's parting kiss with Dean and wonders if she felt everything Ruby is describing. A thought that should disgust him - an angel reduced to the same sin as a demon. Both of them have shunned heaven for these base, earthly pleasures and he should praise god he has not been similarly tainted. And yet...

He doesn't realise his eyes are closed until he feels a touch between his legs without knowing where it's coming from. He snaps them back open and finds Ruby's fixed on him - empty and endless black. He's hot and hard beneath her hand - a yearning that can only be his own because somewhere in the far off reaches of his mind he can hear Jimmy Novak yelling in protest.

She squeezes him tight and a desperate, choking sound rises up his throat. Her cold laughter echoes around him as he flies away.

It takes him a long time to stop shaking.

 **09\. Closer - Nine Inch Nails**  
**[a duet: Ruby & Sam]**

 _"Help me, tear down my reason_ / _Help me, to sex I can smell._  
_Help me, you make me perfect_ / _Help me become somebody else."_

Sam's not gentle anymore. He's wild. Tearing at Ruby's clothes and skin like an animal. And she wants to think it's her driving him so crazy, that she's what he comes for, what he needs.

But she knows it's the blood.

Which is perfect, of course.

But if it's just how they want him, why does she keep longing for the man she knew before? Why does she keep hurrying him through the blood-sucking so he's already sated when they get to the sex? Why does she keep rocking onto him, slow and hard and deep, long after his fast and throbbing arousal has been shot inside her?

He wraps himself around her when he's spent, arms and splayed hands like a blanket on her back, head lolling at her shoulder. Too tired to stop her. Too tired to care. Demon blood does that. His body burns up a lot of energy just adapting to it.

It's exhausting, but it's worth it.

Perfect, even.

Because the pathetic, weakling of a man who watched his brother get ripped to shreds and did nothing is gone now. Sam's stronger than he's ever been and it's _better_ than selling his soul. This way Dean isn't just alive again, he's protected, always. Sam's not gonna let anyone hurt him, not again, not even fucking Alistair.

They close their eyes as Ruby keeps rocking and Sam imagines Alistair screaming, imagines Lilith trapped and terrified, imagines demons all over running from him, and smiles. While Ruby... Ruby just imagines Sam's arms are actually holding her instead of resting on her skin, she imagines him whispering in her ear, lips brushing her cheek, and wonders - if she rides him for long enough, takes in his essence like he's taking hers, will her eyes stay rich hazel from now on when she opens them again?

 **10\. For your eyes only - Sheena Easton**  
**[a duet: Cas & Dean]**

 _"For your eyes only, I never need to hide_ / _You can see so much in me,_  
_so much in me that's new_ / _I never felt until I looked at you."_

They're not even his eyes, Castiel's. They're Jimmy Novak's. And Dean thinks that should be a barrier somehow. An extra layer between them.

It scares him that it's not.

That when Cas looks at him, somehow those baby blues are completely his, like he wears them differently to how Jimmy did or something. Which is fucking stupid cos how can you wear _eyes?_ But every time they catch him these days they stop Dean in his tracks. Because they're more than looks. They're Castiel _seeing_ him. Not like Sam or Bobby see him but really _seeing_ him, right down to the soul.

And the kicker is - he doesn't look away.

Sam can't even _meet_ his eyes anymore and Bobby only glances, like he's scared to get too close. But Cas holds on. He has to know the truth, he _has_ to, cos he's the one who found Dean in the pit doing god knows (and presumably He does) what, so why does the angel keep on looking? And why isn't Dean putting up his usual devil may care front to hide from the gaze like he does with everyone else? It's like... like there's something _in_ Dean, something _more_ , a _real_ him that only Cas can see and can't get enough of, and every time the guy looks at him Dean almost, just about, nearly, wants to believe it.

When Dean looks at Cas, the angel is awed by how much there is to know from those two fleshy, human orbs. Fears, hopes, loves and thousands upon thousands of possibilities. He tries to hide them, but they're all there if you look and Castiel wonders why no one does. There's more to Dean Winchester than he could ever have imagined and Cas wants to know everything. How can he not when those eyes are such a tempting apple-green?

For now though, it's enough just to look. To hold the man's busy gaze still for moments at a time, hoping it might just help quiet his ever frantic soul. Because while Dean's lack of faith in the Lord is disturbing, what hurts the most is his lack of faith in _himself_.

And for that, Cas plans to make Dean a believer. Whatever it takes.

 **11\. Bring me to life - Evanescence**  
**[solo: Ruby]**

 _"Bid my blood to run_ / _Before I come undone_ / _Save me from the nothing I've become."_

He's late. Where is he? Where _is_ he? She needs him...

Ruby tries his cell a dozen times and gets nothing but voicemail. The next time she tries she gets an answer, but it's not the one she wants. Dean's furious voice fills the speaker - "Stay the _fuck_ away from my brother you sick, blood-feeding bitch! You even _try_ and see him again and I swear to _god_ it'll be the last thing you do, you hear?!"

So they know about the blood. No great disaster, not for the Plan. Despite Dean's name calling, withdrawal's the real bitch here and once Sam breaks out of whatever hole his brother's trapped him in, and he _will_ get out there's no question, he'll be even more dependent on Ruby than he was before.

But that doesn't change the fact Ruby will be Sam-less for the foreseeable future. Shit. How has she let it come to this? She's been a demon for centuries. The _best_. The black and the cold were all she ever needed. That's how you knew you'd made it big - when the hellfire didn't burn but left you frozen.

But Sam... Sam's so _warm_. Overflowing with life. It was impossible _not_ to soak up some of that from his presence. So he can't leave her. Not now she knows what she's missing. And she'll lose it without it him, she knows it. What is a demon, after all, but emptiness? Just a black hole grasping at the lives of others to try and fill itself.

Dean thinks his brother's addicted? He has no idea. Ruby's nothing without Sam.

 **12\. Tears in heaven - Eric Clapton**  
**[solo: Castiel]**

 _"Beyond the door_ / _There's peace I'm sure._  
_And I know there'll be no more_ / _Tears in heaven."_

Castiel's last thought in human form, before his brothers break through his hastily scrawled defences and pull him home, is - _how will Dean know me without my vessel?_ Thought and time and existence all change after that, and while he understands what is happening, where he is, he has been so drenched in mortality from his time on earth - his time with Dean - it seems unreal to him now. Like he doesn't belong.

They do everything out of love. They tell him this, constantly, and Castiel wonders, as he stands fast against the onslaught, who they're trying to convince. _I will be strong_ , he thinks, _and not let them break me_. Because it is what Dean would do. 'Not that we're _trying_ to break you, of course,' Zechariah insists. 'We're trying to _help_ you.'

Eventually, Zechariah dismisses the others and leads Castiel away. The world turns red and black and they come upon a girl in chains. A man stands above her, blade in hand, and she screams. And Castiel wants to scream along with her because the man is Dean and he fears the angels have sentenced them both into hell.

But Zechariah shakes his head. 'No, this isn't hell. Just an impressive facsimile.' Castiel imagines the elder angel's current vessel, abandoned on earth along with Jimmy, smiling thinly with the words. 'Since Dean Winchester is all you seem to care about these days, I thought it might be a good idea for you to be more intimately acquainted with some of his memories.'

He moves them both towards the sobbing form of the girl and Castiel sees where this is going. Zechariah intends for him to experience Dean's hell-enforced torture first hand in the hope it will weaken his affection for the man. He reminds himself he has already forgiven Dean these crimes and prepares for the assault. So when Zechariah pitches him head first into the black-eyed image of the hunter instead Castiel couldn't be more surprised.

When he tumbles out years, centuries, millennia later, all he can do is tremble under the shadow of his superior's wings. 'Do you understand now, brother?'

 _So much guilt_ , Castiel thinks. _So much confusion_.

'They're just _human_ , Castiel,' Zechariah continues. 'They don't know what's best for themselves. And our plan will benefit mankind in the long run... what's left of it... There'll be happiness, peace, prosperity -'

'Peace.' Castiel grabs at the word, like a drowning man to a lifeline. Dean has known much in his life, but not this.

Yes, Castiel understands now. It was wrong to serve the misguided desires of man. Of Dean. He has seen for himself this brings nothing but pain. No. He will serve heaven. He will bring Dean peace.

 **13\. Fumbling towards ecstasy - Sarah Mclachlan**  
**[a duet: Ruby & Cas]**

 _"If I shed a tear I won't cage it_ / _I won't fear love_ / _And if I feel a rage I won't deny it"_

She tries to ignore the flutter of excitement she feels when he asks to meet at the Honeymoon Suite. Something that gets a whole lot easier when he opens the door and is shouting almost as soon as she steps inside. A desperate anger, fuelled by need, and Ruby matches him for it, snapping back in defence. But she knows even as she starts it's not him she's mad at. She's mad at Dean for locking Sam away, she's made at Lilith and Azazel for using the boy in the first place, and most of all, she's mad at herself. Because when you get down to it, she's the one who made him like this, she's the one who took Sam's sweetness and turned it bitter, it's her fault he's shaking and wild and lost.

And she knows what it means, this anger. Can't deny it any longer. It's more than lust, more than addiction, it's...

He tries not to listen as Dean calls his name over and over, even as his voice cracks and the word must be agony to pronounce. He tries, because he knows when they finally meet he can't give him answers, not the ones Dean needs. Because Dean will reject them, he will fight, he will not see what is to happen as the blessing Zechariah explained. Yet Castiel does go, because he must, to obtain Dean's allegiance. To do this he lies, by omission if nothing else. He lies, and he watches Dean swear his life to heaven, the hunter's hard won trust abused and manipulated, and as Dean's promises tumble into him Castiel feels something wet welling up in his eyes. Lets it.

Because he knows what it means, this sorrow. And he isn't afraid. It's more than sympathy, more than respect, it's...

 **14\. Falling away with you - Muse**  
**[ensemble]**

 _"I can feel my world crumbling_ / _I can feel my life crumbling._  
_I can feel my soul crumbling away_ / _And falling away._  
_Falling away with you."_

Sam can't hear Ruby over the pounding of hyped up blood in his ears, but as he watches her lips move, face contorting in angry, ugly shapes with each yell, it's like looking at a stranger. He wonders then what he ever saw in her. Were they ever good together, actually happy? He can't remember. Not like with Dean, who Sam can see right now swiping fries from his plate at a diner and laughing, clinking Sam's beer bottle with his own and slapping his back, rushing towards him in the dark after travelling hundreds of miles to the middle of nowhere on the off chance Sam might be there because Sam's his little brother and Dean would never let him down, never. Sam thinks he might have massively misunderstood this situation. And hesitates.

Ruby watches him pause and screams louder, trying to drown out the cries of his brother from behind the door. Her doubts are gone now, have been since she watched Sam torturing Lilith's second and realised _that_ was the man she wanted for the rest of existence. Forget all those memories of guilt and thoughts of who Sam used to be, what was she thinking? After today he'll have become so much more and the past won't matter, his _or_ hers. After today there'll be a new world, a _better_ world, for them to live in, and once Sam sees it he'll be glad, he will, he'll understand it was all for the best, he'll see how awesome she's been getting him there and he'll thank her. After today, their lives have just begun.

Dean listens to Castiel calmly explain to Chuck how they are going against everything the angel believes in, screwing with prophecy and opting for the Winchester 'making it up as we go' special instead, and it's only the urgent need to release the breath he's been holding that proves he's not dreaming. He wants to say something, tell Cas he's proud, that he's doing the right thing, or just 'thank you, fucking thank you!' But then Cas is saying something crazy about fighting archangels, which can't be true cos Dean asked for _help_ not _sacrifice_ , only it is true, Castiel's giving _everything_ for Dean and his brother and Dean doesn't think he's seen anything quite as magnificent as Cas in that moment. And as the angel magics him away Dean knows that, whatever happens, he'll never forget.

Castiel's fantasy for Dean Winchester fell apart the second the man renounced it and the angel can't understand how he ever believed it in the first place. Of course an enforced paradise would bring Dean peace and contentment, but how could Cas have forgotten that spark, that fire, he felt when he pulled the other's soul from hell? That angry, wild and beautiful essence that makes Dean _Dean._ That makes all of humanity what they are. Heaven on earth will destroy that as surely as hell because earth was not made for those kind of absolutes, it is in-between, a world of _choice_ , good _or_ bad. And because he knows humanity - Dean - does not have the strength to fight alone, Cas pushes away from the love of his brothers, throws Zechariah to the wind, and stands fast within this earthly realm himself, like he tried to before. And though it is still a mistake in the eyes of heaven and Cas knows a second transgression will not be as easily forgiven, he also knows that if he had the chance to repeat the experience he would make it again, and again.

Then Lilith laughs, and the world starts to crumble.


End file.
